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Mobuhiro

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Introspection

3 min read
Do you want to make a living out of becoming an Artist like many of your idols? Or you just like the idea of being an Artist?

Unfortunately for me, I think I will have to accept that it seems I only like the "Idea" or the "Concept" of it. Otherwise, how can I explain to myself the fact that I have not been drawing since the age of 19!
So ultimately, I know that the answer implies a heavy lack of motivation from my side in pursuing a dream my so called "dream" of Drawing for a living.

The question now I would like to answer to myself is: Why!?
Why? While it is obvious I love to draw, was I not able to get myself to practice?
Why did I listen to people around me when they were convincing me that an artistic career had no future and that I'd better go for an Office Job?

At the age of 19 I was actually accepted for university to study Art and Animation, but for some reason I let myself convinced that it was not a path and a worthy university for the future. I remember that I was really disappointed and angry back at that time and it led me to actually go on a travel across Europe for couple of years. Today I can only regret this decision as I am here during my lunch break moaning over what happened a decade ago.

Anyhow lot of things happened to me during this last decade and I would not like to have missed any of it, but here I am now, wanting to make a difference.

While I know it will be much harder to get better now that I am a father of 2 marvelous boys, and that I have a full time job in order to feed them, nothing proves me that it is impossible task to actually finally get started and make some improvements. I must admit, I will always be jealous and will always look up to people who have been drawing all their life's, as given the late age at which I am starting it looks like I'll never be able to match up with them.

But the most important is that I can always be better than what I am now !

Back to the drawing boards.

Time is wasted skills.
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Introspection by Mobuhiro, journal